Why I hate gay marriage

I hate "gay marriage." I don't like it one bit.

... What!?

Okay, but in all seriousness, you'll notice I put those words in quotations. My issue does not lie in the concept of gay people marrying (I mean, come on, I do hope to have a husband some day, after all), but lies in the phrasing we use when talking about it. I give partial credit to my roommate, RC, for bringing this to my attention many months ago. It was something that, at the time, I couldn't quite articulate my problem with. Her explanation made it so clear:

"I hate how we call it 'gay marriage.' As a straight woman, when I'm married, I'm just going to be married, not 'in a heterosexual marriage.' The same goes for gay people."

This is paraphrased, but it's so very true. While fighting for (or even demanding) our equality, we are using language that separates us, language that makes us "the other." We're saying on the surface that we want the same right to marry just as any opposite-sex couple has, but we're using language that makes this marriage out to be something completely different.

What I want is something not any different from my friends who got married six months ago. I want to be able to stand up in front of everyone, announce my love and commitment to the man I'm marrying, and have a small party afterwards. I want to be able to have this recognized by the government and receive the benefits of marriage. I want to grow old with my husband and remind the world that love comes in many different forms.

I choose to use the phrasing "marriage equality." In such a divisive battle, why choose to use language that divides us even further?

-QV