Successes

After my last two not-so-happy blog entries, I wanted to make sure I put up a happier one. This is not to make the last two less legitimate; my struggles were wholly true. Instead, it's more to balance the struggles with the successes. It's written in the same stream-of-conscious style.

Without further ado... my successes:

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It's nice when someone asks questions, longing to know more. It's nice when someone asks me about my desires for the future. It's nice when someone talks to me about my relationships with guys as if it is nothing out of the ordinary.

It's easy when I talk to someone new and  casually omit pronouns, and she picks up on it and does so back to me. It's easy when it's confirmed with only a look, and proper pronouns are then utilized. It's easy when this is done so discretely, I do not need to have a big coming out moment.

It's fun when my girlfriends are talking about cute guys, and I can jump right in. It's fun when that hot cross-country runner jogs by, shimmering on a warm, spring day, and it's fun when we all squeal with delight. It's fun when none of them look at me weird for joining in.

It's touching when I see him struggling to accept himself, when I give him a look, and when he realizes he's not alone. It's touching because I was there too. It's touching because I know he'll be okay.

It's awesome when my friend tells me, excitedly, that she told her parents adamantly she is for gay marriage. It's awesome when a friend quietly apologizes for reacting poorly when I first came out, and it's even more awesome when she goes on to explain she believes in equal rights. It's awesome when my boss buys me coffee simply for being who I am and being a strong person.

It's beautiful when that shy boy comes up to me and comes out for the very first time. It's beautiful when that shy girl comes up to me and comes out for the very first time.

It's remarkable when my camp crush from another state was the first one to introduce me to gay issues, and had she not fought to stay in contact with me in the years that followed, she might have never known how far along I've come in my own journey. It's remarkable how she called or texted me each time she'd be around my town, and we'd always meet up. It's remarkable when she continues to offer me support, even currently from the other side of the world. It's remarkable how we met nearly nine years ago.

It's the best feeling in the world when someone makes a rude or bigoted commented, and before I  can open my mouth, he's there, halfway already through his first sentence. It's the best feeling in the world when someone asks your friend how they feel about LGBTQ rights and instead of responding, "I'm still struggling to figure them out... " she responds, "I believe everyone deserves to love and marry, regardless of sexual orientation." It's the best feeling in the world when one friend asks, "But... what about the Bible?" and the other friend responds, "I believe the Bible has been misused and misquoted throughout history, and people tend to twist it to their own purposes. I believe Jesus preached a message of love and acceptance, not of fear and intolerance." It's the best feeling in the world when I didn't put those words in her mouth, but they line up exactly with what I've thought for years.

-QV