I can't tell you how many times I've gotten comments in person about my vivid storytelling techniques. I LOVE talking about what's going on in my life, especially when exciting things happen. I'm not sure if I'm interesting to listen to via blog posts since my hands and face are a large part what makes me so animated, but nonetheless, I try.
Several times already in my life, I've found myself in relationships right around one of our birthdays. As if coming up with birthday ideas isn't hard enough, there's the added awkwardness of what to get your significant other.
Side-note: my high school girlfriend bought me a Rubik's cube for my birthday, which fell exactly a week after we started dating. It was cute, inexpensive, and already significant in our relationship (I taught her how to solve one).
What happens when you get into a relationship with a guy long-distance, notice on Facebook his birthday is coming up, go out to visit him the day before his birthday, and forget until he mentions what he's doing the next day? #1. You feel like an idiot for not remembering that right away and planning something cute for him. #2. You call him on the ride home precisely at midnight to wish him a happy birthday. #3. You write a blog post.
That's right, folks. My boyfriend is 22 today. In the immortal words of Taylor Swift, being 22 is "miserable and magical, oh yeah." I don't know about miserable, but I hope he's feeling pretty magical right now, or at least will be by the end of this post.
I've only gotten the chance to tell a few friends the story of how we met and how we started dating officially. So, hey, in case you're wondering... here goes:
*Edit: I thought I'd tell the whole story, instead you get the story of the first date. I didn't realize how long it'd be until I finished typing :)*
Once upon a time, QV was overwhelmed with the idea of trying to find a boyfriend. After all, in QV's society, you couldn't just randomly go up to a guy and ask if he was queer; you might get punched. He wasn't interested in any of his queer friends, so he decided to join a free online dating site.
Aaaaaand switching out of the 3rd person. I feel like that might get annoying after a while.
Scrolling through profile after profile and seeing nothing too exciting is somewhat disheartening. That's what that site mainly did. Note to friends: don't visit an online dating site when you're lonely.
I hadn't been on there in a while, but one day I decided to log in and see if anybody new was there. I clicked on Quickmatch and began perusing profiles recommended for me (which... seriously, how do those algorithms work!?). Boring... crazy... only wants sex... lives in Ontario... It was pretty average, until...
There he was. The most mysterious guy I'd ever seen on there. I'll admit I looked through his pictures immediately before checking out his profile. Let it be known that I do not care so much about looks--but it felt like his eyes were gazing into my soul, so I had to see more.
I started looking at his profile. He lives on the other side of the state, has a dog, eats vegan, loves animals, wants to be a vet... all wonderful qualities in my mind. I decide to give it a go and send potentially one of the most awkward messages known to mankind:
"Hello! I read through your profile and some of your questions, and it seems like we've got some pretty similar views on things. I eat vegetarian (leaning towards veganism) and also identify as agnostic.
Read through my profile if you've got time and learn a bit about me :) I'd love to talk more if you're up for it!
-QV"
Smooth. Gotta impress him with my dietary habits and religious leanings, because obviously those are the most important things a guy is looking for.
He responded though. Messaging quickly moved to texting, and texting led to setting up a first date. We would meet in a city halfway between us for coffee, and if that went well, a walk. And with that, off we were.
I tend to over-think things when I'm nervous. I spent way too long trying to decide on a outfit that was both casual and cute for that first date. Guess what? I already forget what I was wearing.
Because of that, though, I was running a bit behind. Then, I hit construction and was even more behind. I texted him from the gas station telling him I was going to be a bit later than expected...then pulled over again later to tell him I was going to be even later. He got there twenty minutes before I did, and I felt awful for making him wait.
So, I get there, and I see him standing there. He looks really awkward and nervous, but definitely not angry at me for being late. PHEW. I make awkward small talk while ordering my coffee and curse myself for letting him get there before me and already have ordered and paid for his own drink, but I try not to let that get to me. We sit down at a table, seats next to each other, rather than across.
It's our first time meeting in person and really the first time hearing each other's voices. It's so awkward. We find things to talk about, which mainly centered around his research and theories. I become a little scared to talk since I probably sound like an idiot next to his eloquent speaking. So, I listen.
Once upon a time, QV was overwhelmed with the idea of trying to find a boyfriend. After all, in QV's society, you couldn't just randomly go up to a guy and ask if he was queer; you might get punched. He wasn't interested in any of his queer friends, so he decided to join a free online dating site.
Aaaaaand switching out of the 3rd person. I feel like that might get annoying after a while.
Scrolling through profile after profile and seeing nothing too exciting is somewhat disheartening. That's what that site mainly did. Note to friends: don't visit an online dating site when you're lonely.
I hadn't been on there in a while, but one day I decided to log in and see if anybody new was there. I clicked on Quickmatch and began perusing profiles recommended for me (which... seriously, how do those algorithms work!?). Boring... crazy... only wants sex... lives in Ontario... It was pretty average, until...
There he was. The most mysterious guy I'd ever seen on there. I'll admit I looked through his pictures immediately before checking out his profile. Let it be known that I do not care so much about looks--but it felt like his eyes were gazing into my soul, so I had to see more.
I started looking at his profile. He lives on the other side of the state, has a dog, eats vegan, loves animals, wants to be a vet... all wonderful qualities in my mind. I decide to give it a go and send potentially one of the most awkward messages known to mankind:
"Hello! I read through your profile and some of your questions, and it seems like we've got some pretty similar views on things. I eat vegetarian (leaning towards veganism) and also identify as agnostic.
Read through my profile if you've got time and learn a bit about me :) I'd love to talk more if you're up for it!
-QV"
Smooth. Gotta impress him with my dietary habits and religious leanings, because obviously those are the most important things a guy is looking for.
He responded though. Messaging quickly moved to texting, and texting led to setting up a first date. We would meet in a city halfway between us for coffee, and if that went well, a walk. And with that, off we were.
I tend to over-think things when I'm nervous. I spent way too long trying to decide on a outfit that was both casual and cute for that first date. Guess what? I already forget what I was wearing.
Because of that, though, I was running a bit behind. Then, I hit construction and was even more behind. I texted him from the gas station telling him I was going to be a bit later than expected...then pulled over again later to tell him I was going to be even later. He got there twenty minutes before I did, and I felt awful for making him wait.
So, I get there, and I see him standing there. He looks really awkward and nervous, but definitely not angry at me for being late. PHEW. I make awkward small talk while ordering my coffee and curse myself for letting him get there before me and already have ordered and paid for his own drink, but I try not to let that get to me. We sit down at a table, seats next to each other, rather than across.
It's our first time meeting in person and really the first time hearing each other's voices. It's so awkward. We find things to talk about, which mainly centered around his research and theories. I become a little scared to talk since I probably sound like an idiot next to his eloquent speaking. So, I listen.
What I hear coming from his mouth are not just the words he's speaking. I hear passion. Fire. Struggle. Creativity. I hear the words of someone so invested in what he does. I take a mental note that he, like myself, tends to get louder and louder the more excited he is about something, and also, like myself, begins to talk faster and faster. Adorable.
I was worried because I hadn't said much (and when I did, it came out like a blubbering fool), he would want to end the date as soon as our coffee was finished, but he was the first to bring it up: "Well, do you want to head to the park?" "Yes! Yes!"
So, we did. Neither of us knew the park, and he got lost and called me on the way. Note to everyone: it's pretty hard to give directions to somewhere you've never been before in a city you're unfamiliar with. Somehow, we both made it.
On our walk, we talked about life, love, family, friends, religion, animals... virtually anything you can think of. Somewhere along the way, we had a movie-moment where our hands accidentally brushed. He was the first to grab it. I'm the kind of person who is big on physical touch, so this for me was a pretty big moment. I could feel his heart pounding faster in his wrist, so I like to think it was pretty big for him too.
Now, bear with me a moment as I expose to the world how ridiculously strange I am. The moment his fingers intertwined with mine, I noticed a few things: #1. Our hands fit perfectly into each other and #2. The position that we naturally went into was the most natural hand-holding position for me.
(Actually, that's a lie. That was not what I thought the moment his fingers intertwined with mine. What really happened was that my brain went "OH MY GOSH HE'S HOLDING MY HAND!! AHH!! Okay. Deep breath. Don't freak out. Enjoy the moment. See how great it feels? OH GOSH, DON'T START SWEATING LIKE CRAZY. NO GUY WANTS TO DATE A GUY WITH CLAMMY HANDS." Only after I got through those thoughts did my brain to go checking to see if we were comfortable.)
Hand-compatibility: it's something I think about it. When you're holding hands with another person, several things can serve to make either and enjoyable experience or an extremely awkward experience. #1. Do you go over or under with your wrist? #2. Do your respective hand-sizes work well together? #3. Whose thumb goes on top? and #4. Are you the same on both sides?
I have hands that naturally fall into different positions on both sides, so it's actually slightly difficult for me to find someone that I'm HC (hand-compatible) with on both sides. The first hand we tried (my right, his left) was perfect. Positions comfortable, sizes match... cool!
But, see, you remember I said I'm ridiculously strange, right? Well, at one point, we took a seat on a bench and talked there for a while. Because I needed to know, I made sure I ended up on the other side of him when we stood back up in order to check that hand. Yup.
... For reference, we're perfect on that side too.
We eventually made it back to our cars after getting lost in the woods for a while, had a hug goodbye, and went our separate ways. Two dates later, we decided to call it official, and five days later here we are.
I greatly look forward to seeing where this relationship goes. Right now, I'm just enjoying each step of our journey, and love getting to know him better day by day, even if that means taking a moment to register when his birthday is.
Readers (other than Boyfriend), if you made it this far, I applaud you. I'm actually curious if any of you found this post enjoyable :P
Boyfriend, I wish you a very, very happy birthday :) I'm sorry I can't be there in person today, but I cannot wait until the next time I see you.
-QV
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