Pride pt. II

I promise the next post will be a recipe! I've just been low on food with no real desire to go shopping lately.

In my last post concerning pride, I mostly wrote about the let-down that was pride fest this year (or, at least what I saw of it). What I did not talk about was the parade.

See, as I mentioned, last year I was in Chicago for their festivities and parade. Unfortunately, I didn't plan things out enough in advance to make it work this year, and Chicago decided to throw it's festivals and parade on different weekends, AND I'm just starting summer classes... so I won't be down there.

The parade in Chicago was still fairly tame compared to what you might see in San Francisco. There were man groups represented there: small businesses, bars, advocacy groups, and even churches. Of course, being a pride parade, you had some scantily clad men (and women!), especially on the floats representing the Boytown clubs, but for the most part it was a very family friendly event. This was slightly surprising to me, as the media always tends to emphasize the sexual side of it, using it as yet another argument against LGBTQ persons.

I actually got questions along these lines a lot when I was first coming out: "Why are pride parades all about men in g-strings and exorbitant amounts of rainbows?" That's the sort of thing a newly-out queer guy doesn't quite know how to answer, but I'm going to do my best to tackle a bit of it here in this post. Please remember, these are my thoughts, and many other queer people would disagree with me.

First of all, the parades are NOT about those things. Pride parades exist as a celebration of freedom, of breaking free. For too long, the LGBTQ community has hid in shadows, and that does real damage on one's soul and self-esteem. Once a year, we're allowed to step forward to the surface, celebrate together, and really be ourselves.

Imagine in this way: say you had a Romeo and Juliet relationship in that you always had to hide your feelings toward that person, and nobody could ever see you together. Then, once a year, you were allowed to be with that person out in public. Would you not take their hand, scream to the rooftops, and fully enjoy that day?

Some people take that to a bit of an extreme. I personally don't find it appropriate to wear less in a pride parade than you normally would in public. I'm not saying I don't enjoy it when I see it (hey, I gotta be honest!), but it still bothers me. We're asking for our equality and trying to promote how we're not any different than anyone else, that for most of us, we have the same draw toward forming families and have the same moral values...and then a few go against the grain and show quite the opposite. The media sees those few, latches onto them, and uses it against us. Lovely.

That being said, how is it any different for straight people? Think of festivals like Lollapalooza. Does this not spark images of women in revealing outfits, sex and drugs done in public, and alcohol everywhere? Many conservatives will get all up in arms, claiming queer people are all driven by sex, yet why do they turn a blind eye to their own clubs and hook-up culture in general? If two men sleep together on a first date, it's used as evidence that queers are sex-driven, family-breaking maniacs. If a man and a women go home together from the club and hook-up, it's seen as the way society works. Hello, double-standard.

A man walking down the street in his underwear is miles from this.

That being said, I wish more big pride festivals and parades were family-oriented. They should be a safe place for people of all ages, not perpetuating the idea that a child can't understand homosexuality until he or she is of a certain age.

West MI Pride in former years (and probably this year too, if only I was there early enough) does exactly this. They even have a kids booth! This year was the first ever West MI Pride parade, as well. Though it only lasted 20 minutes, it was a safe place for absolutely anyone to be. These are the sorts of things we need to do if we want to bring about equality faster. These are the sorts of values we need to do a better job demonstrating, the reasons we'll win the more conservative people over.

-QV